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guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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