I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
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He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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