if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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