And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize