I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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