What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude. I can hear the air.
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