When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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