Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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