This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize