She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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