Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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