I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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