I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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