Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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