My first STD was from a foam party
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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