Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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