no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize