I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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