The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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