no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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