Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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