end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize