when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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