Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize