i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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