so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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