omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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