she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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