And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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