I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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