dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Apparently you make a good broom.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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