Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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