i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
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I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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