Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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