the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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