Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize