I can text with my tongue
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize