Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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