its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
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Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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