i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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