I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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