Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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