I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize