VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize