I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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