We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
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After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I pour the whiskey from now on
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