I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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