now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize