garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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