those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize